These are the core values and practices that guide us in honoring and supporting everyone’s honorable thriving:
SHARED HUMANITY and COMPASSION. We’re all equally human. We all have the same life-needs; we all long to be welcome, safe, and happy; we all suffer when we experience rejection; and we all are greatly challenged when we experience shame.
We all also have our own special blend of “warts and farts and ugly, crazy parts,” the ways our mistaken beliefs and hidden survival brains sometimes leave us disconnected from ourselves, our deepest values, and each other. We all have this.
When we or others act in ways that are harmful to ourselves and/or others, we remember that everything we think, believe, say, and do is ALWAYS, at it’s heart, an attempt to feel better, thrive, and be happy. Even when we act without awareness or skill, or out of pain that’s too much for us to hold.
Seeing ourselves and each other clearly, we tenderly embrace and welcome All That We Are. No exceptions.
(Important: See “Living in Alignment/Being Accountable,” below.)
DIGNITY and RESPECT (Inherent Value). We recognize that each of us is a Culture of One, with our own inner experience of life, and our own unique paths to thriving. We honor and uphold each of our equal right to thrive in our own ways. We practice honorable thriving, never choosing to benefit at another’s expense.
HONESTY and AUTHENTICITY. We recognize the power of staying connected to Reality, and being real human beings with each other. This includes acknowledging our power and gifts, as well as our wounds, weaknesses, blind spots, and mistakes. Our shared humanity, compassion, dignity, and respect make it genuinely safe for us to practice this together.
SELF-MATTERING, SELF-AWARENESS, and INTEGRITY. We cultivate genuinely mattering to ourselves, and practice discovering and integrating what is most deeply true for us. We recognize that a “lack of integrity” arises from a lack of integration (self-connection, wholeness). We discern and live in alignment with what we most deeply value.
BEING ACCOUNTABLE FOR OUR DIRECT IMPACT ON OTHERS. We acknowledge that there will always be times when there’s a Gap between what we’re able to do and what we’re committed to. We practice being responsible for the direct* impact our out-of-alignment words or actions have on others. We cultivate an ever-growing capacity to Be the person we most want to be, and to Create what we most want to contribute in Life
ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR OWN WELL-BEING. We recognize that we are the ultimate author of our own lives and experience. We practice setting healthy boundaries (making choices and taking actions) that effectively support our honorable thriving. When faced with challenging “outside” circumstances or the impact of other’s choices that diminish our well-being, we remember that, as adults, we are never without choice or power. We compassionately practice rediscovering our authentic power and choice, no matter the circumstances.
DEEPENING OUR CAPACITY TO BE PRESENT AND AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW. We practice noticing and experiencing our present-moment body sensations, feelings, thoughts, and impulses … without having to numb, avoid, change, or fix them, AND without getting overwhelmed or flooded
LIVING FROM WHAT’S MOST ALIVE and INSPIRED IN US; HONORING WHAT’S MOST ALIVE IN OTHERS. We allow what is naturally energized or energizing in us, that aligns with our values, to be the primary guide in our lives, and we support others in doing this also. (See next bullet.)
CREATING, MODIFYING, RESTORING, & DISSOLVING AGREEMENTS IN WAYS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO EVERYONE’S THRIVING. When we mindfully discern that plans or agreements we or others made in the past no longer work for either us or them in the present, we are devoted to co-creating something different that serves everyone involved. We acknowledge that this practice is considerably messier and more complex than “just doing what was planned or agreed.” We believe that sustaining our mutual care, connection, trust, and mutual honorable thriving (never benefiting at each other’s expense) are ultimately much more valuable and important than the ease and predictability of automatically locked-in plans or agreements.
UNDERSTANDING DISCOMFORT, PAIN, & UPSETS AS GUIDES, INVITING US TOWARD GREATER CONNECTION, THRIVING, & FULFILLMENT, including identifying and tending to the unmet needs that these announce
RECOGNIZING THAT OUR GREATEST PRESENT-MOMENT PAIN OFTEN COMES FROM WITHIN US (rather than from anything outside of us, like circumstances, or others’ actions), and doing the inner work needed to discover where our pain is coming from — from the past and our inner orphans/”broken toes,” or from direct, present-moment actions of others (because of how our human nervous systems are wired).
NOTE: See “Accepting Responsibility,” above. While we may not be able to choose how our nervous system responds in the moment to what someone has said or done, we have choice about the meaning we give it, how we engage with it after it’s happened, and how we prepare ourselves to respond to it in the future.